This guest piece was written by local therapist Sarah Albanawi. Sarah is the founder of Heal with Sarah in Falls Church. She is an integrative practitioner focused on supporting clients experiencing stress, trauma, ADHD, emotional dysregulation, and chronic pain through a thoughtful mind-body approach. Here are her expert tips for parents, teachers, coaches and all adults working with children during the back-to-school season.

Make Back-to-School Business as Usual

The first day of school can bring up a lot of feelings—not just for students, but for parents and teachers, too.

For some students, going back to school represents a new beginning. It can mean meeting new teachers, making new friends, adjusting to a different schedule, or even trying to figure out how they want to present themselves in a new school year.

For parents, there can be a completely different kind of pressure. They want their children to be prepared, confident, healthy, happy, successful, and ready to excel in their classes. There are school supplies to buy, schedules to organize, meals to plan, and routines to reestablish.

It can feel like a lot.

But here is something I want parents and students to remember:

You do not have to have everything figured out on the first day.

The first day is just the beginning.

The first few weeks are really about adjusting, learning, and finding your rhythm.

The Theme: Business as Usual

One of the best things you can do during the back-to-school transition is maintain a “business as usual” attitude at home.

This can be easier said than done.

Back-to-school season can create a lot of chaos. There are shopping lists, new schedules, early mornings, homework, activities, and expectations. When parents feel overwhelmed, children can often pick up on that energy.

Calmness can be contagious, and anxiety can be contagious, too.

That doesn’t mean parents aren’t allowed to feel anxious. Of course they are. Parents have a lot on their plates.

It simply means that while you’re preparing your children for school, remember to take care of yourself, too.

If you have a long to-do list, make a plan. Put things on the calendar and prioritize what actually needs to happen first. If you don’t have time to do everything yourself, look for ways to make life easier. Use delivery services when necessary. Ask family members for help. Delegate when you can.

Sometimes one of the hardest things to do is ask for help.

But asking for help doesn’t mean you aren’t capable. It means you’re recognizing that you don’t have to do everything alone.

Work smarter, not harder.

Be as Ready as You Can Be—Then Move On

For students, my biggest piece of advice is simple:

Be as ready as you can be, and then move on with your life.

Get your backpack ready. Find your clothes. Know where you’re supposed to be. Set your alarm. Prepare what you can.

And then go back to your regular routine.

You don’t need to spend every waking moment thinking about school.

Maintaining your normal daily routine can help ease some of the anxiety that comes with the back-to-school transition, especially for students who struggle with change.

Instead of thinking, “Everything is going to be different,” remind yourself:

“What if it all works out better than I thought?”

Don’t Get Attached to the Outcome

One of the hardest parts of going back to school can be the expectations we create before we even get there.

Students may think: 

Will my friends still be my friends?

Will I do well in my classes?

Will this be a good year?

Parents may have their own expectations about how the school year should go.

But the truth is, we can’t control every outcome.

Going back to school can be an opportunity to practice letting go of expectations and staying open to what happens.

Some friendships will stay the same.

Some friendships may change.

Some people may have changed over the summer. And so have you.

That isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

People grow and change. Sometimes we grow together, and sometimes we grow in different directions.

Rather than expecting everyone and everything to remain exactly the same, give yourself permission to discover what this school year will actually be. Be curious and get creative with creating new connections with new and old friends. 

Start the Day With Mindfulness

Another way students can prepare themselves emotionally for the school day is by incorporating a short mindfulness practice into their morning.

It doesn’t need to take more than 10 minutes.

Start with five minutes.

One simple practice is gratitude journaling.

Write down ten things you’re grateful for before starting your day. Try to make them specific and personal rather than generic.

For example:

• I am grateful that I am healthy.
• I am grateful for the people who support me.
• I am grateful that I have the backpack I wanted.
• I am grateful for my favorite pair of shoes.
• I am grateful that I have someone I can talk to when I’m having a difficult day.

The purpose isn’t to pretend that everything is perfect.

The purpose is to train your brain to notice what is going well, even when other things feel uncertain.

Another option is a short guided meditation. There are many free five-minute guided meditations available online. Simply search for “5-minute guided meditation” and find one that feels comfortable for you.

Mindfulness gives you an opportunity to check in with yourself before the day gets busy.

How does my body feel?

Am I holding my breath?

Where am I feeling stress?

Once you notice where you’re holding tension, bring your attention to your breathing. Take several slow breaths and allow your body to relax.

You don’t have to make the anxiety disappear.

You are simply practicing noticing it without allowing it to take over.

Get Ahead of Your Assignments

Once school begins, one of the fastest ways for students to become overwhelmed is to have multiple assignments from multiple classes floating around in their heads.

Instead of trying to remember everything, get it out of your head and onto your calendar.

I like to call this a “calendar dump.”

When you receive your syllabus or assignment schedule, take about 15 minutes to enter important due dates into your phone or computer calendar.

Then set reminders a few days before each assignment is due.

This gives you something incredibly valuable:

time.

Instead of realizing the night before that you have a major assignment due, you have already been reminded that it is coming.

This small habit can make a big difference in reducing the feeling of, “I have so much to do and I don’t know where to start.”

You don’t have to rely on your brain to remember everything.

Let your calendar help you.

Parents: You Don’t Have to Fix Everything

Parents have an important role in helping children navigate the back-to-school transition—but that doesn’t mean you have to solve every problem for them.

Maintain that business-as-usual environment at home as much as possible.

Plan school-supply shopping instead of waiting until the last minute. Plan meals. Get familiar with schedules. Give yourself enough time so that everything doesn’t feel like an emergency.

But preparation isn’t only about supplies.

Have ongoing conversations with your children about how they feel about going back to school.

And when you ask, be curious.

Try not to immediately jump in with advice.

Sometimes your child doesn’t need you to fix the problem.

Sometimes they just need you to listen.

Practice active listening. Let them finish their thoughts. Ask questions. Make space for their feelings.

If you’re not sure whether they want advice, simply ask:

“Do you want me to help you figure this out, or do you just want me to listen?”

That question can give your child the opportunity to tell you what they actually need.

Ask: “How Can I Help?”

When your child is struggling, you don’t always have to know the right thing to say.

You can simply ask:

“How can I help?”

Or:

“What can I do to make this easier?”

These questions communicate something powerful:

I’m here.

I care.

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

And sometimes, your child may say, “Nothing. I don’t need help.”

That is okay, too.

Giving your child space doesn’t mean you’re abandoning them. It can mean you’re allowing them the opportunity to develop their own problem-solving skills while knowing that you are available when they need you.

Parents can also take a moment to reflect on their own childhood experiences.

If your child is going through something difficult, ask yourself:

“How would I have wanted my parents to respond to me when I was experiencing this?”

That question can help shift the focus from immediately fixing the situation to understanding what your child may actually need.

Make Time to Check In as a Family

One of the simplest things families can do is create regular opportunities to check in with one another.

It doesn’t have to be a formal family meeting.

It can happen at the dinner table, in the car, while taking a walk, or before bed.

Ask about the day.

Ask what went well.

Ask what was difficult.

Ask what they are looking forward to.

Most importantly, create an environment where your child knows they can talk without immediately being judged, corrected, or given a solution.

When children feel heard, they are often more willing to share.

And when parents make time to listen, they get to remain connected to what is actually happening in their child’s life.

You Don’t Need a Perfect First Day

Back-to-school season can bring excitement, nervousness, hope, pressure, and uncertainty—all at the same time.

That’s normal.

The goal isn’t to eliminate every uncomfortable feeling.

The goal is to help ourselves and our children move through those feelings without allowing them to control the entire experience.

Prepare what you can.

Maintain your routines.

Take care of yourself.

Use your calendar.

Practice mindfulness.

Stay open to change.

And remember that you don’t have to know exactly how the school year will turn out.

Be as ready as you can be—and then move on.

The first day is only one day.

The first few weeks are where everyone gets to settle in, find their rhythm, adjust to changes, and discover what this new school year is going to look like.

So take a breath.

You don’t have to make everything perfect.

Sometimes, “business as usual” is exactly what we need.

Sarah Albanawi is located in Falls Church, VA. You can learn more on her website or by following her on social media. 

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